The cat’s been out of the bag for several days now; “GIRLS” has arrived, and it’s probably the most disappointing debut of a show in recent memory. It’s a wasted premise on a group of, as of now, uninteresting characters, that lacks a strong immediate conflict, and appeals to a narrow audience.

Women in their mid-20’s, in this country, in this economy, don’t have the kind of grounded representation in entertainment the way they need to. This is a ripe market that’s desperate for content. And here it is, “GIRLS,” or as a friend of mine brilliantly renamed it “Vacuous, Socially Awkward, Privileged White People Who Find Themselves Interesting But Are Unable To Stop Talking In A Fake New York City, Devoid of Real Conflict.”

I don’t mind unsympathetic characters. I kind of prefer them. They’re meatier. And this show has a fantastic premise that does represent a lot of people, men and women, in their mid-20’s, who are mooching off their family, who do lack work ethic, who are going to be the first generation of Americans in the history of the country to have a lower standard of living than their parents. That’s a story that hasn’t yet been captured. We’re living in a society that’s not yet had the kind of lens on television that illustrates the enormity of the crisis and allows all of us to relate to the severity of it. “GIRLS” could have been that, instead it’s a mediocre in-joke, at best, and at worst it’s an alienation of what it’s trying to represent.

People have hailed this thing as the next great American television show, but let’s look at the facts: Its debut was modest. 1.1 million viewers across 2 airings. It lost more than a third of its lead-in audience from “Eastbound & Down” and “Game of Thrones” pulls in over 4 million viewers every Sunday night.

The entire show has the feel of someone having lunch and thinking, “Hey, let’s make a show about us.” I could even imagine it happening over the course of the “dinner party” scene in this past week’s pilot. And that’s fine if you’re a film student, but not if you’re getting the Judd Apatow stamp of approval and a major HBO premiere.

Let’s go even further. Let’s take away the demographics and ratings and focus on the quality of the show itself:

The girls: First of all, kudos to putting on a female show full of women who look like real women. Gold star.

The inciting incident: After 2 years a mid-20’s girl with no direction in life is cut off from her parents and has to enter the real world without a safety net. FANTASTIC!

The pacing: Off (note the opening dinner scene that dragged on for too many jokes and reaction shots, or the “good angel vs. bad angel” scene in the bedroom with our protagonist high on opium). The shooting style is reminiscent of Wes Anderson’s work, but misses the tone and the fact that Anderson is painting a world that’s not quite like our own, whereas this show is trying too hard to be naturalistic.

The acting: Flat as a board with the exception, maybe, of a couple nice moments from Allison Williams.

The humor (it’s billed as a comedy after all): You can literally notice a beat after every joke as if they’re waiting for a laugh track “I may be the voice of my generation. Or a voice of a generation.” [pause for laughter]

It’s failing on the basic levels of storytelling in a visual medium. It’s not necessarily a bad cast and it’s a phenomenal idea, but the execution is supremely disappointing. The jokes are stilted, one of my favorite exchanges was the oh-so-clever: “I’m not on Facebook.” “You’re so classy.” [pause for laughter] Because no one’s made jokes about Facebook with such biting wit since, oh right, The Social Network! The drama’s muted, as evidenced by the blink-and-miss-it preggers revelation by the foreign cousin while squatting on the toilet, and the look of the show is bland as f*ck, as evidenced by the hipster actor’s apartment (Sooooo much brown…).

And you know what? It’s going to get renewed. HBO doesn’t have a high bar when it comes to viewership and they’d have a major hole in their programming. Too much money’s been invested. Unless a horse dies on set of course. The main reason it will get picked up for a second season is because the masses DON’T have a show like this on television. And in a starving marketplace, the consumer will buy the single option available. “GIRLS” may end up being THE representative of a generation of women, but by default.

One Viewer’s Opinion,

The Dude

If you want to escape to the glamorous side of being young, wild and free, you watch Gossip Girl. For how to be thirty, flirty and fabulous, retreat to Sex and the City. But for a generation of women trying to navigate a discouraging job market and the confusion of their twenties, there’s nothing to watch on TV. Not until now, at least. Thanks, Lena Dunham, for Girls — the best show on television for a lost flock of soon-to-be women.

I’m raving about HBO’s newest half-hour comedy (produced by Bridesmaids’ Judd Apatow) that follows four twenty-somethings who are “living the life” in NYC: Hannah is penning a memoir and hopes to become the voice of her generation, Jessa is a British bohemian who travels the world without a care or a budget, Marnie is in a perfect relationship and works at an art gallery, and Shoshanna is a virginal nerd who remains naive and enthusiastic about everything. A few of these characteristics echo those of a very successful HBO show, one whose lead character eventually wrote multiple books on love and has become the voice and fashion icon of this generation.

But be warned, Sex and the City fans: this show is nothing like Carrie Bradshaw’s search for love in the Big Apple. Read More »

Amidst your old favorites, there are always some new faces. It’s true for the first day of classes and it’s true for the Fall television schedule. With so many new faces this season, though, it’s not easy to decide which shows deserve that coveted slot on your DVR and which ones aren’t even worth a line on your TV guide.

CollegeCandy is here to help you sort them out. We’ve picked five new shows you won’t want to miss this year. Get your popcorn (or cookie dough – we don’t judge) ready, because Fall TV starts NOW. Read More »

How to work a braid

7 things no one told you about getting older

A show about the porn industry!?

The power of sexual touch

How to wear hoops like a grown-up

Dress like a pretty little liar

How long is too long when you’re having sex

You know that scene in Get Him To The Greek when Aaron’s girlfriend says something to the effect of, “Omg I can’t wait to watch like 100 hours of Gossip Girl”? I laughed hysterically (It’s funny cuz it’s true!). David did not (for the same reason).

I don’t know about you guys, but when I get home after a long day of interning, working, and gymming, all I want to do is eat dinner and zone out to one of the thousands of Real Housewives or Say Yes to the Dress episodes I have DVR’ed. Unfortunately, my live-in boyfriend isn’t on the same page. Especially now that it’s baseball season.

Without our usual primetime lineup to veg out to (If you’re an avid CC reader you’ll know about my unerring obsession with Comedy Night Done Right), the pickings have been slim for couple-friendly shows.

Until Now. Enter this summer’s surefire couple-pleasing shows. Read on, DVR and get some popcorn ready. Read More »

I know that most people are excited for beach trips, suntans and reading for pleasure this summer, but what’s getting me revved up for the next three months is the totally rad summer TV lineup. After all, sometimes we need to take a break from road trips, slip and slides, and parties and soak in laziness.  Agreed?

And with all the amazingness that summer TV has to offer, kicking back with a Diet Coke and some Smart Pop (and probably some aloe to rub on that “I’m having so much fun I forgot to put on sunscreen” burn) will be just as good as a day at the wave pool. Actually, considering the amount of chilren that pee in that place, this is a whole lot better.

Secret Life of the American Teenager
June 22

The Secret Life is back, baby!! When the season ended, Amy delivered baby John, Ashley moved in with her dad, Grace + Jack = 4-ever, and Adrian ended up alone.  Season Two brings more baby mama drama for Amy, and SOMEONE WILL DIE! (Duh duh duuuuuh.)

Army Wives
In Progress

Think being a soldier in the army is hard? It is. But the Army Wives have their own troubles: falling out of love with their husbands stationed in Iraq, starting a career, kissing a doctor (boss), getting a motorcycle, sending their sons off to war, having an affair… it’s a rough time!! And that was only one army wife.  This circle of women is tough! They fight off stalkers, tend to husbands with PTSD, deal with the death of family members, and battle the vicious tongues of the other prying wives. This show is incredibly moving and drama-rific; perfect for a summer night.

Nurse Jackie
In Progress

Oh yeahhh! Edie Falco is back on the tube. Unfortunately, she is no longer Carmela Soprano.  Instead she plays Jackie O’Hurley, an emergency room nurse in New York City.  Jackie is brilliant, sarcastic and witty, but super flawed and abuses meds to get through the days.  I smell drama.

(PS. For those looking for a Twilight fix, Peter Facinelli plays a doctor on the show! Hotness.) Read More »

[There are some women out there that we just can’t get out of our minds. No, we aren’t switching teams - yet - but we do have some serious crushes on some pretty fierce females. These ladies are all special in their own right and we aren’t ashamed to tell the world we love them.]

This past Monday, season five of Weeds premiered on Showtime and reminded me of one of my biggest girl crushes – Mary-Louise Parker – who plays the sassy, snappy California soccer mom turned rebellious drug-dealer on the television mega-hit. Beautiful, talented and unafraid to show off her stuff (Parker posed nude in advertisements for the third season in 2007 and appeared naked in a bathtub in the season 4 finale… not bad for 46 years old!), Mary-Louise has come a long way from her hometown of Fort Jackson, South Carolina.

In addition to earning acclaim as Nancy Botwin, Weeds’s pot-pushing, Mexican-border-hopping protagonist, Parker has demonstrated that she is well suited for the stage. In 2001, she won a Tony award for her Broadway performance in Proof (which was then turned into a movie and snatched up by Gwyneth Paltrow), and she received both a Golden Globe and an Emmy for her work in the HBO miniseries Angels in America. MLP added to her Emmy tally, and added a Screen Actors Guild Award to her resume, for her guest performances on seasons three through seven of the political drama, The West Wing. Read More »

(We’re back with another weekly installment of G.W.W.E [Guys We Want to Eff]. Looking for a fella who has smart taste, style, and talent to boot? Check out Mos Def, our main rapper/actor we wanna eff!)

I have to confess that I’m a sucker for talent. I mean, who isn’t? If all these dancing/singing/acting/yadda yadda reality shows are doing so well, then the American public is certainly thirsty for some grade-A pizzazz. But while the hometown hotties on such shows are nice, what’s really effable is someone who’s taken time to hone their skills and grow into the limelight. A self-made man. And who’s a better example of that than Mos Def?

This week, he’s totally tops on my effable charts.

The Brooklyn hip-hop lyricist, born Dante Terrell Smith, first started recording music alongside his brother and sister as part of a group called Urban Thermal Dynamics. He has since broken off as a solo artist, and his 1999 album Black on Both Sides was his breakout achievement. He has also collaborated with such big names as Talib Kweli, Kanye West, and Common. And his slick, sexy, introspective side acquired a lot of recognition for his work on Russell Simmon’s Def Poetry on HBO. Confidence + smooth delivery= ultra-effability.

But that’s not all. He’s a respected actor whose Hollywood resume includes roles on The Chappelle Show, The Italian Job, and the newest Michel Gondry flick, Be Kind Rewind. Mos Def has been nominated for an Emmy, a Golden Globe, and multiple Grammys. Yeah, you could say he knows his way around the entertainment industry. Meow!

Mos Def’s newest film, Cadillac Records, opens today. How am I excited? Let me count the ways: 1) It’s a ’50s period piece (retro movies are always fun), 2) there’s sure to be a great soundtrack (it’s about a recording studio!) and 3) Mos Def plays Chuck Berry, the dynamic early rock-n-roll star. So while my man will be singing “Johnny B. Goode,” I’ll be thinking: Mos Def, be good to me tonight!

[Just to preface things, because I know some of you out there are probably gonna surmise as much, I am indeed 500 pounds, have never had a boyfriend, am missing one eyebrow, and am so intimidated by other people's attractiveness that I cry myself to sleep every night atop of a pile of melting cookie dough.]

It’s no secret that here at CC, we love Entourage. HBO and Showtime never cease to entertain with shows like Dexter, Weeds, and True Blood, but for some reason, Entourage has always held a special place in our hearts (and no, it’s not just because of this).

Besides the witty and quippy writing, Entourage is almost always hilarious, last night’s episode being no exception (everyone trips on shrooms in the desert and Ari desperately calls Lloyd to get him through his ordeal). The characters are strange yet likeable, and the Hollywood “scene” has never been drawn quite so wackily. So yeah, we love the show. Love it enough to stay up late on a Sunday night or TiVo it to watch immediately after work.

But here’s the thing: there’s pretty much no way to feel good about your body once the credits roll. A show created, produced, directed, and mostly written by men, Entourage is bursting at the seams with “hot” women. I’ve been watching for 5 seasons, and I honestly can’t remember a time when a female character was anything less than absolute runway material.

Everyone has big boobs. Everyone is thin and tall enough to dunk a b. ball like Michael Jordan. It’s like the casting director opened up a Victoria’s Secret catalogue, pointed to every single girl in there, and made sure she got a spot on the show. Read More »

Well, the good part about this week is that banks all around the world did not explode, some kind of bailout plan was passed (though don’t ask us to decode it), Sarah Palin and Joe Biden managed to be civil and keep their mouths from f*ckng up at their debate (plus, a new favorite catch phrase was born!), Jeremy Piven’s hotness did not wane, weed suddenly became good for us, and we found out the identity of the REAL Joe Six Pack.

Let’s see, what else happened that wasn’t completely sh*tty…?

Oh, right. We let our inner Halloween bitterness out and felt much better for it, uncovered the horrible undertones to Allstate’s advertising campagin, and learned how to love and protect our awesome boobs.

Unfortunately, there were some not-so-great things that occured this week — and we’re not talking about our realization that we hadn’t blended our make-up one morning. Our birth control flipped the crap out, we realized our college dining halls were nothing compared to these, and the fun of Elementary School seems so, so far away.

Whether your glass is currently nice and half full or running on empty, take solace in the fact that the weekend has arrived to provide us cold beers, fresh-baked cookies, and HBO’s True Blood (What? You don’t watch this show?! Dude…find a way).