The ladies of Tough Love were back last night and, as on the first two episodes, sexy Steve had a sexy lesson up his sleeve. He instructed each girl to set up their own photoshoot where they demonstrated what “sexy” means to them. The definition of sexuality is personal and unique to each individual, so this photoshoot would reveal how the women feel about their bodies and what they think men find attractive. The main test here is whether the girls can recognize the thin line between what is considered sexy and what is actually slutty.

Arian (Miss Party Girl) totally missed the boat and went straight for nudity and soft-core porn poses. Although I am definitely not surprised by her choice, I’m disappointed that she wasn’t able to see the point of this test. She knows that her ultra-sexual nature is what landed her in a Tough Love Boot Camp, so why did she waste this valuable learning experience by regressing? And with whipped cream, no less?! Read More »

Miley’s first photo shoot was…slutty.

Melrose Place 2.0 is coming.

Build a fashionable wardrobe on the cheap.

OMG! What if his parents don’t like you!?

Colleges begging for bailout.

Some old dude won Survivor last night.

Give your skin the gift of soybeans.

One university found the ultimate stress reliever for students.

Michael Phelps likes boobs. Clearly.

Woman gets creative on the job hunt.

I love cute baby pictures as much as the next pre-menstrual girl, but this? This is just a bit much. The bowties, the total nudity, the seductive look on Diddy’s face.

I feel so…dirty.

I know Danity Kane is in the crapper, but there are other ways to make a buck, P Dids.

This week, the girls go on go-sees, which made me hate Saleisha for the first time. She did some major ass-kissing and and just came off really fake. It doesn’t seem like any of the girls do particularly well, and only Bianca and Saleisha make it back from the go-sees on time.

The rest of the girls are disqualified from the challenge for arriving late, so the competition isn’t too tough, but it’s Bianca that wins the challenge.The next morning, the models head over to their photoshoot, where they’re greeted by Mr. Jay, sexy Nigel, and (fake) lions and dragons. The goal is to stand out in a crowd. Is Nigel eligible to win? He’s clearly the prettiest.

Jenah is up first and doesn’t impress me much. Does anyone else think she looked like she looked like an awkward teenager playing dress-up with all that makeup? Saleisha does a decent job, as does Bianca once she finds her groove. Chantal is critiqued for looking like a showgirl, and Heather falls flat as well. Read More »

Like me, if you settled into the couch Wednesday night, popcorn in hand, awaiting some supermodel drama, you were probably disappointed to find that America’s Next Top Model was just a recap, devoid of new Tyra-isms, melodramatic judging, and what-will-they-do-next photoshoots.

Hopefully you took the disappointment like a lady, and used the recap episode as an opportunity to make asinine judgments and predictions as to this cycle’s winner. I know I did!

To recap the recap, so far we’ve said tearful goodbyes to clueless but loveable Mila, forgettable Kimberly (who?), snooty Yale priss Victoria, bikini waxer Janet, and ice queen Ebony. I’m still mourning the loss of Janet, who SO deserved to win, and not just because she pretended to give Tyra a bikini wax during the first episode—but alas, I’ve had to name new favorites, predict my new top 3, and of course, speculate as to why each girl will get kicked off.

My completely unscientific yet completely overthought conclusions about the girls still in the running: Read More »

Is it just me or is this cycle of America’s Next Model the best one yet? And by “best,” clearly I mean “most unrealistic, annoying, and completely addictive.”

Last night’s episode, the second of the cycle, “keeps our Earth good,” (thanks, Mila) with a green-friendly van for the girls. It takes the girls to their new house, where half of the models manage to fit into one bathtub.

Tyra continues Awareness Crusade 2007 with the photoshoot, an anti-smoking campaign, where Mila laughs at chemo and everyone points out Heather’s awkwardness even though she’s really not acting in any abnormal way.

In fact, she’s made the first intelligent comment of the episode, when she says that the bitch-fighting between Bianca and Lisa is giving her a headache.

Next up is a shopping spree at…Old Navy. Um. Budget cuts, Tyra?

The pick on Heather-athon continues, with Jenah’s comment that Heather doesn’t know what’s trendy. I didn’t realize that a symptom of Asperger’s is bad fashion sense, but hey, what do I know? Oh, and Ebony forgets to put on pants.

Then the girls come home, where the girls continue bashing on Heather, except for Victoria, who, in her own snooty way, is growing on me. Sure she kind of feels like she’s better and smarter than the other girls, but, well, I’d probably feel the same way. Read More »

Either TMZ is telling a boldface lie, or Britney Spears has finally become 100% certifiably crazy.

The tacky tabloid is reporting that Ms. Insane’s photo shoot and interview with OK! Magazine went so badly that the publishers are deciding whether “to report what actually happened—or sanitize the truth to protect the pop train wreck.”

Apparently, the mother of two was acting strange throughout the entire interview, and escaped “to the bathroom” a number of times, coming back from each trip a little more whacked out than before. Read More »