Some women have been blessed with the cooking, cleaning, and child-rearing skills any ’50s housewife would be jealous of. You know the type – they go to their friends’ houses bearing baked goods, they know how to get that tricky stain out of delicate material, they’re just all-around nurturers.

I, on the other hand, find myself lacking in every aspect of domestic maturity. I dread doing laundry, I get extra excited on the rare occasion that my pasta comes off the stovetop instead of out of the microwave, and I gotta be honest, kids kind of piss me off.

For a long time, I’ve embraced this about myself. I was convinced I could just get by on take-out and who really needs children anyway? But as I approach my senior year of college, it’s beginning to hit me just how close I am to living life in the real world. In a very short while, it’ll be frowned upon to live like I do – laundry piling up, cabinets stocked with Easy Mac, dishes (read: shot glasses) sitting in the sink.

If this is truly some sort of natural instinct in women, when will it kick in for me? And why hasn’t it already?

After a lot of thought, I think I know what’s holding me back. It’s not that I just suck at these household duties – I am so afraid of what it actually means to perform them: growing up. Read More »

Aw, so cute! Thank god she belongs to someone else!

I have this problem and it seems as though other girls I know simply don’t have it.

The problem: I don’t want a baby.

Earlier this morning, I watched a two-year-old (with an English accent!) walking around and laughing, and he was hilariously cute. I smiled. I said things like, “Aww…he’s so smart!” And I truly meant the things I said. I truly thought he was adorable. But seeing a kid and thinking that kid is adorable doesn’t make me want one.

I love being an aunt. My niece and nephew are absolutely amazing and I, like many proud aunts and uncles, think they’re flawless godsends. There’s nothing they can do to make me love them any less than I already do.

But I just don’t want any babies of my own. Read More »

Whenever we need to make a difficult decision, we make a list. You know, like when we were choosing a school, when we were choosing a date to the first sorority date party, or when we weren’t sure which we loved more: our Prada backpack or our Skechers.

So when are constantly faced with the awful decision of which hot mess of a celebrity is more hot messy, we make a list. Yes, this is a decision we feel the need to make on a weekly basis; we have a lot of time on our hands.

Moving on.

This week’s showdown is between two of our favorite celebs to watch (as they completely meltdown into a pile of crazy mush): Amy Winehouse and Britney Spears. Who is more of a train wreck? God, that’s a tough call, so let’s break it down. Read More »

Angelina Jolie is pregnant. AGAIN.

With twins. AGAIN.

I wasn’t aware that the human race was dying out, what with all that overcrowding in China and stuff, but since Angelina is BFF with the United Nations (who keep tabs on that sort of thing), I’m guessing she and Mr. Pitt took it upon themselves to save the human race with their chronic breeding. Thanks, guys.

I think this brings the total number of Brangelina kids up to about 7,321 (actual number: 8). Which means they now have more children than I have close friends. Seriously, they should give up the whole celebrity business and move to Wyoming to become full-time babymakers. The big WY would totally get a couple more seats in the House for it.

It is no secret that it doesn’t take much to freak out a guy in a relationship. I once dated a guy who would ask me to come over and hang out, but then go nuts and say we were spending too much time together.What?

Anyways, in efforts not to be crazy or overbearing or, “let’s start saving for our grandchildren,” I (and I am sure many girls like me) tend to hold back. I am very cautious about getting too serious too fast and scaring the boy away. I know not to introduce him to my entire extended family after our first date. I know not to get his name tattooed on my ring finger after our first sex sesh. Those things are obvious.

But what about making plans for the near future? Is that too much? Let’s ask the boys…. Read More »

We’ve reached the mid-way mark of October, and that means that we at CollegeCandy are really psyched for Halloween. We’re definitely still pondering what to wear on the 31st, but when it comes to children’s costumes, there are a few get-ups we’d rather not see prowling the streets.

The following is a list of Halloween costumes for children to avoid, containing several funny, inappropriate, and unsafe outfits we’d rather not see on our younger siblings and babysitting charges. Read More »

In today’s Photoshoped world, it’s hard to tell which buzz-worthy pictures are fake, and which ones are actual hilarious moments caught by a camera…

We’re sincerely hoping this one is legit.

Marriage is a big thing in this country, isn’t it? People are all up in arms about protecting the sanctity of it. Making sure people wait for it before they have kids, and that those of the same sex don’t do it because that would be wrong. With all of this to do about stopping certain people from marrying, who’s making sure that other people do?

It seems that marriage (according to statistics, which as we all know, are infallible) has become a white institution. Black people just aren’t doing it anymore.

Some of you may be familiar with the special CNN aired, “Black in America” in which they spoke on many of the issues that black America is having not only with marriage, but with other aspects of day to day life: employment, education, etc., all of which impact the black community.

Dionne Hill, the producer of the segment has a special rumination on black people and marriage. It’s not a new statistic, but the fact still remains: black people simply are not getting married in the numbers that we once used to. Certainly no longer comparable in numbers to the ethnic majority of Caucasian people marrying. In the article, which can be found in it’s entirety here, she talks about her own experience with the illusive unicorn that is marriage and her own vision of the perfect life, which is, of course: marriage, career, and children. Read More »

Being hungover generally sucks, lets face it. The only place I want to be (and I’m sure this goes for you as well) is in bed, with the blinds closed, watching cheesy made for TV movies and eating my favorite hangover foods.

Unfortunately, my life is not very conducive to being hungover, and forces me to inevitably be anywhere but in bed on those days when I swear off drinking for good. If you’ve ever been hungover, chances are you’ve been forced to be somewhere you absolutely did not want to be at the time. I present the short list of the worst places to be while hungover. Read More »

This is one of the worst news stories I’ve ever, ever heard.

Two young boys in the Czech Republic were kept for months in a basement dungeon by their mother. Not only were they sexually and physically abused, naked in their own urine and chained up, they were also forced to cut themselves. Why? So that their mother could feed their raw flesh to their relatives.

The entire torture was conducted in accordance with text messages from the leader of their “religious” group, the Grail Movement. This leader is referred to only as “The Doctor.”

And this is a true story.

The mother, who is currently on trial, now claims that she was brainwashed. She says she’s sorry and doesn’t know how she could have done such things.

I don’t buy it for one second. You know how this was discovered? A neighbor caught it on his baby TV monitor. According to various articles, that is because the mother had her own TV monitor hooked up so that she could watch the boys while they were in agony whenever she felt like it. To me, there is no coming back from that.

Now the questions seem to be (1) will the court buy the “brainwashed” excuse, and (2) how far is a religious organization allowed to go in the name of their beliefs? Read More »