College Candy

Did Sarah Palin tell anyone of her plans?

Is this recession going to be a depression?

Miley Cyrus is single, y’all.

What not to say on date numero uno.

Did Chris Brown steal Kanye’s lady?

A final tribute to Billy Mays.

I am a chronic list-maker, whether I have to make a difficult decision or not.  Lists help me organize my thoughts and remember important facts and details that I need for later.  However, there are some things that I would rather forget and that’s what this week’s showdown concerns.

Reality TV shows are, in general, pretty awful.  Yes, I do get some satisfaction from seeing Speidi flail about in the jungle, but most of the satisfaction I get from reality TV comes from seeing D-list celebrities I hate fail miserably at life.  One of those D-list celebrities is Bret Michaels.   Another would be Billy Ray Cyrus (I know he’s not on a reality TV show, but it’s coming…I’m sure it’s coming).  It’s tough to say which one is more retarded, since the rate at which both losers attempt publicity stunts makes my head spin and therefore makes it hard to think clearly.  However, I’ll do my best to clear up this pressing issue. Read More »

Looks like no one cares to see Britney Spears perform anymore.

We want berry lips like Megan Fox.

Green jobs are best for recent grads.

Is Miley Cyrus single?

14 tips to look better in the buff.

Oh no. Kristen Stewart is so gonna ruin Dakota Fanning.

When I was in middle school and I had to choose between two boys who wanted to take me to the 7th grade dance, my mom told me to make a list. (Mind you, that was the last time I ever had 2 boys fighting over me…) After noting that one of the boys had far more cons (like picking his nose…and eating it), I had my answer. Since then, I’ve used lists to make all of my difficult life decisions: beer or vodka, Kris Allen or Adam Lambert, flats or wedges…

And now: which celeb is worse for the future of society.

This week’s showdown is between two ladies who are tainting our youth, one racy photo at a time: Lindsay Lohan and Miley Cyrus. Who is wreaking more havoc? Let’s break it down: Read More »

The Idol Finale was full of surprises.

Dessert for dinner? Do it!

This is totally not P.C., but we kinda laughed anyway.

We’re obsessed with the maxi dress!

Will Chase Crawford do Kevin Bacon justice?

Um. Bacon lube exists.

Dear (See Below) Bands,

I love your music. Love, love, love. But can you maybe try to be a little less annoying? It makes it so hard to defend you when I tell my friends about my favorite artists. Actually, it makes it hard to admit to anyone that you happen to be one of them.  And I want to make them like you, really, I do. But like that friend who has a minor character flaw that now pisses you off enough that you really can’t see the good in her anymore,  I’m finding it difficult to enjoy your music knowing how annoying you are.

Here are some heart-to-heart tips from your loving (secret) admirer to be a little less annoying and a little more rock and roll.

Fall Out Boy

You always have a spot in my 6-CD player in my car. Sugar, you’ll never go down on the playlist for me if you continue to make some of the sweetest pop punk music out there. But please, Pete Wentz, I’m begging you – cut your hair, lay off the eyeliner and put on a damn shirt when you are on a magazine cover. You need to settle down – you play bass. And, um, you have a kid?

Also, Patrick, can you please enunciate your song lyrics so I can actually sing along and not just randomly open my mouth while humming the tune to look like I know what I’m singing? And what’s up with the weird syntax and bizzare punctuation in the song titles? Thnks Fr Th Confusn. I mean, e.e. Cummings was a legit poet, while you’re just… an antithesis of all semblance of reason. And grammar. My English teacher highly disapproves. Read More »

On Fridays I get out of work about the same time that school lets out for younger students. My subway ride home is filled with kids of all different ages, shapes, sizes and races who remarkably all look exactly the same. Every single Friday, I can find at least one girl rocking a Miley backpack, some leggings and lots and lots of lip gloss.

It’s a comforting constant in my life, much like passing a Starbucks on every corner or finding an episode of Sex and the City on at any time of night. I’ve come to expect it, even enjoy the high pitched squeals, sickeningly sweet smell of body spray, and live rendition of “See You Again.” But after catching a clip of Sean Hannity praising Kim Kardashian for her role model status in young girls’ lives, I started thinking about the idea of celebrities as role models.

I was left with a lot of questions, the most obvious being: does the fact that Kim Kardashian isn’t a hot drunken mess like the rest of young Hollywood really make her a role model? I mean, has Sean Hannity seen the sex tape that made her famous? And what does she do exactly that young girls should look up to? Her reality show? Her curvy body?

It took me a few moments (and a couple shots of whiskey) to get past the idea of  Sean Hannity doing “research” in front of his laptop in a dark room at midnight, and once I did I still had no idea what to think. The whole celebrity-as-role-model thing has me totally torn up.

On the one hand, my biggest fear may soon be realized: a generation of Mini Mileys all grown up. Slim girls in blond wigs walking around chomping on gum and talking with a Southern twang. It’s an image that haunts my dreams. Read More »

Crazy crash at Talladega. (That’s a race.)

Lauren Conrad taking her line to Kohl’s.

Beyonce rules the box office.

Are Miley and Nick Jonas knockin’ boots?

Kiehl’s goes natural with mascara.

OMG Oprah is scaring me!

Confirmed: Heidi and Seal do it like bunnies.

A Craigslist killer is on the loose.

Miley Cyrus is taking over the world.

Harry Potter movie gets earlier release date!

WTF is going on with Tori Spelling’s boob?

Yay for being single in a recession!

Does Jamie Foxx want to see Miley nakey?

Save time with keyboard shortcuts!

No more coffee – electrolyte mouth strips are here!

Candy Spelling reaches out to Tori.

Pharrell designs eco friendly fabrics?!

OMG. Handmade coffee cozys are the bomb.