It’s not every day that Tyler Perry—actor, producer, director and Hollywood’s highest-paid man according to Forbes—takes time out of his incredibly busy schedule to write a lengthy letter. Yet earlier this week, Perry penned an open letter to the 11-year-old boy who was sexually abused by Penn State football coach, Jerry Sandusky, declaring him not a victim, but a hero. And if you’re a female reading this right now, you really should read this letter.

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Most sexual assaults on college campuses are reported in September. The Department of Justice estimates that at least one in five women will be the victim of rape or attempted rape while she’s in college. Women between the ages of 16 and 24 are four times more likely to be raped than any other demographic of women. To say that this is frustrating and infuriating would be an understatement. The reasons for rape are numerous – between institutionalized patriarchy and general objectification of women to individual needs to assert power, combined with the fact that prosecution of rape is notoriously difficult equals a recipe for sexual violence against women.

In typical discussions of rape, there is a lot of emphasis on”prevention”, and the responsibility always seems to land on women. Rape is a unique crime in that it tends to inspire victim-blaming. If someone is mugged, for example, very rarely do people come out of the woodwork to say they were asking for it, that they could have prevented it, that because of their lack of character, they deserved it. When a woman is raped, it is because she was doing something to invite it. She shouldn’t have been [wearing a skirt/drinking/flirting]. Read More »

When the head of the International Monetary Fund (a 187-country organization that oversees the global economy), Dominique Strauss-Kahn booked a swanky hotel suite in Manhattan, the housekeeper did what she always does: waited until the room was empty and then went inside to clean it. Little did she know, Strauss-Kahn was still in the room and had locked the door. The maid was then sexually assaulted and had no way of calling for help until the man left.

Sexual harassment is one of the oldest crimes in the book and it’s one that often seems to go unpunished. In today’s R-rated, “sex sells” culture, sexual harassment can happen to anyone, anywhere, at any time. And it does. All too often.

Fortunately, Strauss-Kahn was taken into police custody and will begin a long sequence of trials and lawsuits. But what about the rest of us? When a government elite is involved with a scandal, the whole world knows about it, but what about people no one knows about? Hopefully, you’ll never have to experience something as painful and scary as sexual harassment, but in order to protect yourself, you should know the facts.

The US Equal Employment Opportunity Commission defines sexual harassment as “unwelcome sexual advances, requests for sexual favors, and other verbal or physical harassment of a sexual nature.” Yes, that’s right: sexual harassment DOES NOT have to include actual intercourse or even physical acts of any kind. When a creepy co-worker won’t stop hitting on you, the stranger on the train won’t stop pressing their leg against yours (even when you move away), that’s still sexual harassment and deserves to be punished.

In order to keep yourself safe from harassment of any type, take the following precautions. Read More »

“So then I went back to his suite with him. And we bumped into his friends, and he introduced me, and they were all ‘Nice to meet you,’ in that douchey voice that actually means ‘Ah, you’re getting it on with our boy tonight.” I don’t even know his friends, and they probably think I’m a slut because he told them I’m a slut! Whatever, then we went back and hooked up. And it was decent, I guess.”

This gossip was the result of a quick catch up sesh I had with my friend after one of those “OMG—so much to tell youuu” texts. I’m sure y’all have had friends like this girl. Actually, scratch that, I’m sure y’all have BEEN this girl before. I know I have: you hookup, you overanalyze, and you wonder if people think you’re a slut, and then you hookup again. It’s like the water cycle… only less hydrating and more damaging to the morale.

And for certain guys, this cycle, in contrast to our menstrual cycle, is their fave. This can be evidenced by a 2008 photo of a few of Yale’s finest Zeta Psi frat boys in front of our Women’s Center holding up a sign that says “We Love Yale Sluts”— classy.

The incident was one of several that were targeted in a recent complaint by 16 Yale students against the administration “for its failure to eliminate a hostile sexual environment on campus, in violation of Title IX.” (Read more on that here.) Thus, the Office of Civil Rights is opening an investigation of Yale, and should they find anything incriminating, will revoke our federal funding.

The Yale Daily News broke the story on April 1st, so I choked on my cereal and laughed because I thought it was an April Fool’s Day joke. Perhaps it’s because I always laugh at inappropriate moments, or perhaps it’s because I am afraid of confrontation, but I didn’t see how suing our administration would make a sexist situation better. It seemed like a dumb idea and I had Spanish homework to do. And so, it flew off my radar.

That is, until CNN news crews and the New York Times went crazy and my mom called and voiced her concern about my sexual well-being. Which was awkward. Read More »

Last weekend in Toronto, where I live, a reported 1,000 people marched together in the first-ever SlutWalk. The campaign was a response to a comment made at a local university by a police officer, who said women should avoid “dressing like sluts in order not to be victimized.” The police have since apologized for the officer’s comment, but it still hit hard with the organizers of SlutWalk.

The idea of SlutWalk spread to two other Canadian cities over this past weekend. I unfortunately worked during the walk in Toronto, but many of my friends were out walking. While they said the walk was mainly positive, there were some groups of men holding signs reading things as “slut after-party.” Because unfortunately the idea that women who dress in a certain way bring negative attention onto themselves and are setting themselves up to be a target is still considered a valid idea by some people.

Why are we still blaming the victim? While women are taught to do all things possible to avoid being raped, our culture is still lacking a don’t rape message. While the White Ribbon campaign and Walk a Mile in Her Shoes are a step in the right direction, it’s clearly not enough. Just look at the frat boys from Yale who were made to chant ‘no means yes.’

Or how about when an 11-year-old gang-rape victim is blamed for dressing older than her age by a politician. If a victim, who is truly only a child, is being shamed, why on earth would anyone want to report a sexual assault. Though this might not be the entire reason, the U.S. Justice Department released a study in 2005 showing that 60 percent of sexual assaults go unreported.

Preventing sexual assault needs to move past the victim. When you hear that Take Back the Night has been happening for thirty-three years, you realize that many issues revolving around sexual assault are seen as responsibilities of the victim. Women should avoid walking alone at night, women should be careful about their drinks at the bar, and women should watch how they dress. When according to RAINN, 38 percent of rape victims know their attacker, is this really enough?

How do we change the attitudes around sexual assault? When will we stop blaming the victim and start blaming the rapist?

Here at CollegeCandy, we often take on topics like entertainment, beauty, and fashion. But every once in awhile, we share things that might otherwise fly under the radar, things that aren’t necessarily fun to talk about but that we as young women need to know.

As college women, sexual assault is a frighteningly real issue on many of our campuses. So when I saw this story, I was pretty outraged. To catch you up to speed, an Australian jury just acquitted a young man of rape because the victim was wearing skinny jeans. Yes, skinny jeans. According to the jury, it wouldn’t be possible for the young man to remove the victim’s jeans without “collaboration,” so he must not be guilty.

I think it’s safe to say that if this young woman said she was raped, if she felt the sex was not consensual, it doesn’t matter who removed her jeans. Let’s say the alleged rapist and his victim “collaborated” to take her pants off. That fact alone does not prove that rape did not occur. Any situation in which one party feels that sexual contact was not consensual is, by definition, sexual assault. Even if she helped take her pants off. Even if she took them off all by herself.

I know there are women (and men, too) who have cried wolf about rape and sexual assault in the past. But people who lead us to believe that sexual assault isn’t a big deal are ignoring the statistics, which show that as many as one in four college women are victims of sexual assault at least once during their college years. Read More »

Miami University in Oxford, OH (yea, confusing right?) conducted a survey to see just how aware young college women are about the dangers of “drug-facilitated sexual assault.” The findings were surprising…and pretty scary.

So we all know about roofies and not to accept drinks from guys cuz they’re probably creeps who want to take advantage of us. But how many times do we really apply our knowledge when we’re out at the bars? Have you ever turned down a free drink? (Editor’s Note: Hell no!)

Or how about this:

You set your drink down for a nano second to grab a cigarette (cuz your an impulsive chain smoke under the influence), pick up your drink and you’re back on your merry way. Little did you know, weirdo standing next to you sprinkled a little fairy dust in your drink and the next thing you know you’re falling over yourself as he carries you back into his shady lair.

It’s sad but true, ladies. The study showed that while most girls were aware that taking a drink from a stranger was a big no-no, they didn’t really think about the risk of leaving their drink unattended, even for a split second.

Here’s another scary fact: the U.S. Department of Justice reports that 1 in 5 women will be the victim of a sexual assault during their college years. That’s like saying one of your best friends, or even you, can be sexually assaulted during your 4 years (or longer, we don’t judge) at college. I don’t know about you, but that kinda freaks me out. Read More »

Anne Pressley, 26, was gorgeous, intelligent, and a rising star as a local television news anchor in Little Rock, Arkansas. But her promising life was cut short just over a month ago, when she was found in her home on October 20th beaten beyond recognition. Never regaining consciousness from her attack, she died five days later from complications of her injuries.

While her story gained worldwide attention, the world wondered: who could have wanted to kill such a kind-hearted, hard-working young woman?

Over a month passed since Pressly’s death, and the police had not named any suspects nor possible motives for the murder, only stating that they believed it was a robbery gone bad. But on November 26th, police in Little Rock arrested 28-year-old Curtis Lavelle Vance for the beating death of Anne Pressly. They did not disclose what led them to arresting Vance, only stating police would have to remain “very tightlipped” before trial.

Then Pressly’s parents, Patti and Guy Cannady emerged on television with riveting new details about the case. Yesterday they appeared on The Today Show stating that there was evidence of their daughter being sexually assaulted during the beating, and furthermore that she broke her hand trying to fight off her attacker. They shared gruesome details about Pressly’s physical condition, including that “every bone in her face was broken,” and immediately condemned Vance as her killer. Mrs. Cannady said that Vance is a “monster [who] stole my daughter’s innocence. He took her life,” while Mr. Cannady added, “I think he could have been a stalker.” Read More »

We talk about sex a lot on this site. That is pretty obvious to anyone who reads it. We like sex. We like being free to make our own choices about who to have sex with, how soon, how many partners and which way we are going to do it. We like to share our stories. We like to hear yours.

But what we absolutely do not want to do is send the message that sexual freedom and inhibition is a risk free lifestyle.

Recently, two writers from Jezebel – a website for women aged 25-35 – were invited onto Lizz Winstead’s show, Thinking and Drinking, to discuss their decisions to blog quite openly about their sexcapades and the message they send by writing about them (graphically) on the internet. Winstead, a former writer for The Daily Show, is a strong advocate of sexual empowerment and freedom, but argues it “can only be called a freedom if you protect yourself from rape, disease and pregnancy.”

Tracie Egan and Moe Tkacik, the Jezebel bloggers – who we have quoted and referenced many times before – showed up to the interview drunk and what they said caused quite a stir in the CollegeCandy office.

You can see the clip here: Read More »

Commercials for last night’s Last Comic Standing boasted the “Most Shocking Audition Ever”. The episode started with more fanfare than a Rockin’ New Year’s Eve.

We watched a ticker in the top right-hand corner of the screen, creeping closer and closer to the moment when our minds would explode on impact after viewing the MOST SHOCKING AUDITION EVER. See that people? I used caps lock.

My heart is currently pounding with nervous anticipation. Here goes nothing!

Heeeeeeeeey! Wait a minute. I’ve been duped. The only thing truly shocking about that exchange was French Stewart’s date-rape joke. This just in: sexual assault is still not a laughing matter. Poor taste buddy. It’s clear now why he slipped into irrelevancy shortly after 3rd Rock went off the air.

I was too distracted to focus on the rest of the program. But here’s what else happened …in haiku form

Acts from two countries

Funnier than in the past

Judges picked wisely

Add a haiku or two in the comments. Two points for rhymes!

Photo: NBC.com