I’m sure Tyra Banks has sweet dreams every night. She’s got tons of money, goes to Harvard (kind of) and she’s about to release a book, called Modelland, which is sure to win the Nobel Prize in Literature. So how could she ever have a bad night’s sleep?

Well we’ve decided to make a list of what Tyra’s worst nightmares would be if she had them, and the nightmares of a retired Victoria’s Secret model are TYRA-FYING.

1. Forgetting how to “Smize”

Tyra basically invented smizing (that’s smile with your eyes for those of you not up-to-date on Tyra lingo). She probably smized right out of the womb because she didn’t have real teeth yet. If she went to a photo shoot and forgot how to smize, her empire would crumble.

2. Getting Fat Again

We all remember those pictures of Tyra in a bathing suit that wasn’t very flattering. She was getting criticized left and right for being too plump, and then she told everyone to “Kiss my fat ass!” on her talk show. It would have been empowering, except she lost the weight soon after and was back to looking like model Tyra.

3. Reuniting with America’s Next Top Model Losers

This nightmare is actually a reality. Next week, a new season of ANTM premieres, and the model hopefuls are all losers from previous seasons.  This means we will get to see more of Bre “you stole my granola bars” Scullark and Isis “the transgender one” King.

Thank goodness the new Catwoman doesn’t have Halle Berry’s outfit

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There’s going to be an All-Star Top Model?!?!

Superman is eating 5,000 calories…dang

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We just looove Post Secrets

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Facebook deletes hot girls

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WTF happened to Tyra Banks?

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Reality television has created some interesting characters the last few years. And by “interesting” I mean “people I want to punch in the face.” Celebrities like Speidi and the Karadashian crew have infiltrated all corners of Hollywood and for what? Big booties and bushy beards? Embarrassing baby daddy’s and even more embarrassing “albums”?

Thanks but no thanks, reality TV.

We love to hate on these D-List losers (it’s my favorite pastime after day drinking and watching the shows that make them famous), but the reality of the reality TV situation is that there really are some hidden gems out there. Awesome characters whose careers have been tainted by their moronic, fame-seeking peers. These 6 reality stars have been overshadowed for far too long and I’ve had enough.

It’s time for some new reality stars.
You listening, Bravo? Read More »

Nothing causes me more anxiety and ill feelings than watching Kelly Bensimon talk on the Real Housewives of New York. Seriously, it makes my stomach churn more than watching those addicts stick needles in their arms on Intervention (barf). The woman is infuriating and I think my neighbor (who hears me screaming through the wall) would agree that I’d be better off without her.

Same goes for Tyra Banks (who does she think she is?!), Ke$ha, Olivia Palermo, Katherine Hiegl and the entire cast of Jersey Couture (no, I don’t know why I keep on watching it). These people shouldn’t be allowed to speak, let alone speak on camera. In fact, I think the world would be a much better place if we never had to hear from them again. Wouldn’t that be heavenly?

So let’s all start a wish list of the celebrities we want to pack up and ship off to an island far, far away. A land filled with dangerous animals, poisonous fruits and zero Internet access or cell phone service.

Who are you giving your first ticket to?

Emmy-Loyola University Chicago: Spencer from The Hills. No one deserves it more.

Sarabeth – University of Texas: I would send Tyler Perry away. The world has enough fat-lady-who’s-really-a-skinny-black-man comedies, and he’s making the same crappy non-funny movies over and over and over again. And if he has one more sitcom start up on TBS, I’ll scream.

Charlsie – Hollins Univeristy: I’d like to send Real Housewife of NJ Danielle Staub to an island where she can’t hide in Bentleys from the snakes!

Read More »

Oh no. Now Tyra is going to write?!

Wow! Sex is getting dangerous.

Playboy is going 3D?!

Aaaaand things have gotten even worse for Lilo.

More nominations for T. Swift. Shocking.

This pic makes our hearts melt.

Cuz they do. A lot.

Bow Wow is a classy guy.

Tyra Banks was a mean boss? Shocking.

Mac gets warm and cozy this season.

What’s the deal with Tila Tequila?

10 iPhone apps we ladies could all use.

Ew! What happened to Pete Wentz?

What are the biggest headlines of ’09?

Is he turned on? Try smelling him.

So what’s Tyra gonna do now?

The best moisturizers for your bod.

Marc Jacobs wears Speedos. And looks damn good doin’ it.

The Great: No Tyra in 2009!

As we all get the last couple of additions to our perfect New Year’s Eve outfits and figure out what resolutions we are going to attempt to keep next year, we are all looking forward to starting 2010 (so) fresh (and so clean, clean). It’s a new year and a new decade filled with endless possibilities!

Will we manage to pass every class this year?
Will we find another guilty pleasure show to add to our long list of Housewives episodes clogging our DVR?
What will be the first celebrity scandal of the new year?
Will we finally fit into those skinny jeans from high school?
Can anyone really be douchier than Jon Gosselin and Tiger Woods?

While much of what 2010 has in store for us is a big fat mystery, there are some things that we just can’t wait for! And, of course, quite a few things we’d rather do without. Get ready for the future, ladies: Read More »

They must be paying per crazy over there.

Dr. Phil is a sexual predator?

No more David Beckham undies ads.

Zach Braff is alive!

Staying sane on parent’s weekend.

Kanye’s clothing line…isn’t happening.