This is what the average single man's sex life is actually like.
When things get too intense I literally melt into the fetal position and throw my phone across the room. That's how I handle things. I know I'm crazy.
There are few things more embarrassing than your mom finding you ass up in a broom closet.
For, I don’t know, my entire life, I’ve been told “do unto others as you would have done to you”...
In the words of Rivers Cuomo, lead singer of Weezer, "Smart girls, I can never get enough of those smart girls."
And obviously their misconceptions were hilarious and adorable.
Is having 4 sexual partners too many? I don't want guys to think I'm a slut and not want to date me when they find out my number.
Today, I was pissed off. Like mad beyond belief. I can't find my Michael Kors watch that I got from Stephen for Christmas. That's when "Let It Be" came on my shuffle. It was like someone was calling from my radio and telling me to drop it.
That means he likes to get his butthole licked.
I believe in the deepest depths of my heart that every woman has, or will, wake up in the bed of someone with the immense feeling of, "Crap. Now what?"
I eat a banana everyday, I am also a ho. Coincidence?!
You're the token good girl and you've decided that you want some no-strings-attached kind of love. Congratulations! Now what do you do?
College is different for everyone but for those who took it as an opportunity to get all that boinking out of their system, it's a high stakes game of doing it in strange places and hoping not to get caught.
"Please, Lord, don't let today be the day he asks me to lick his butt."
Turns out the reason why you and your beau bang like rabbits is way deeper than the two of you being raging hornballs.