Art Deco is in. At least when it comes to your clothes.
This is a real “shocker.”
A soldier blogs until his heart’s content.
Sweden doesn’t have any real problems.
Don’t go overboard this holiday season with your spending.
Facebook advertising won this girl the election!
This month‘s must haves.
Poor Jessica Simpson. No, not really.
Kelly Clarkson is in the big time again.
This purse will set you back a couple bills.
Unlike most people who only have their birthdays to celebrate every year, I am fortunate enough to have two days in my honor:
March 21st – the day my mother pushed me out of her womb
October 15th – National Grouch Day
Whereas I am always shunned, yelled at and abused for being a “royal bitch,” today I, and others like me, am celebrated for my general moodiness. I am finally vindicated for my annoyance at my roommates leaving their sh*t all over the house, for those mother-effers who can’t figure out what a turn signal is, and for the jerks down the street who keep playing that same damn Lil Wayne song over and over and over.
I don’t have to be ashamed for yelling at the Subway dude who put mayo on my 6 inch turkey on whole wheat with “absolutely no sauces, spices or mayo,” or for pushing the bitch at the bar who cut me in line and then got the last Amstel Light.
No. Today is my day. MINE. A day for me to be who I am and for those around me to celebrate it by leaving me the eff alone. Do not hug me, sing to me, or send me a card; all I want on this day is acceptance of my grouchiness.
And maybe for you people to clean up the damn kitchen. Is that too much to ask?!
Can you believe Michael Jackson is 50?
I know! He doesn’t look a day over batsh*t nuts!
But MJ wasn’t always a middle-aged white man; he actually used to be the King of Pop. I can’t tell you how many times I have found myself dancing to one of his bajillion hits (most often at family bar mitzvahs):
That song from Free Willy (God I love that song)
He has been in the business since he was a wee little boy and now, 50 years later, his music has stood the test of time.
So, in honor of the Moon Walker/Young Boy Stalker’s birthday we bring you our favorite Michael Jackson tribute video.
If there is one person who can make us love the Thriller dance more than Michael himself, it is this lovely lady: Read More »
Birthdays are days when you’re allowed to do whatever you want, eat whatever you want, and bask in amazement that you’ve actually gotten this old and still haven’t managed to find Ryan Gosling’s home address (what? Just me?). Anyhoo, being that I am now officially old enough to have a quarter-life crises, I’ve decided to share some things I’ve loved ever since I kicked my way out of the womb two months early (I’m impatient).
The Last Unicorn
I heart this move hardcore. I watched it every single day for three weeks at the age of 8, and I'm still convinced it's one of the best animated movies ever. It's got a bunch of familiar voices, a soundtrack by the fantastic 70's crooners America, and an Existential storyline that is so not for children. Here's the first 9 minutes of the movie. If you haven't seen this shiz, Netflix it immediately.
Grandmas. It’s hard to figure out what they want for their birthdays. Do they want slippers? Humidifiers? Canes? Or maybe, actually, they want something a little racier.
Whether she wanted it or not, this Grandma got something rather unusual for her b-day.
See more funny videos at CollegeHumor
Pandas pressured to procreate–would some panda porn help?
Disney perpetuates false expectations one bridal gown at a time
“The Hills” movie–would you really expect anything less?
Did Jessica Simpson and Tony Romo tie the knot?
Hey mom, can I borrow $4,000 to go to Porn Camp this summer?
Celeb birthday bash I least want to attend
On second thought, Maury–I’ll take care of that paternity test, OK?
John Mayer is awesome. Got it?
Paris Hilton: “I’m an inspiration“
I don’t care what you say: Madonna is fierce
Dear Blackberry,
I just got back from Vegas and I am so hungover. Me and Benji spent the whole weekend together.
He got mad at me for five minutes on Friday because I forgot that it was his birthday, but whatever – I pay someone to be my thinker and rememberer but then I remembered that I don’t like talking to smart people so how was I supposed to know?
See? I’m smart enough to remember the important things. He had no right to be mad at me, right, Blackberry?
You know why I like you, Blackberry? Cuz I can tell you stuff and you don’t tell anyone else, not even Nikki or that attention whore mom Nicole.
You know that Nicole only had a baby cuz the magazines weren’t putting her on the cover, right? And she’s so pathetic – she’s like still hanging all over Benji when everyone knows that he’s with me. I think he’s like magic though – like they’ll take pictures with me and him somewhere and then there will be pictures of him and Nicole together at like almost the same time. I know what she’s trying to do. It’s not gonna work. Read More »
• Rare photos of Ms. Golightly are published 15 years after her death.
• So working out doesn’t get you off? It does now thanks to the Thigh-brator.
• Two Celebs, One Dress… Who wears it better?
• Johnny Depp is on the cover of the Rolling Stone.
• Avril Lavigne is a Plagiarist.
• ‘Love is a Birthday Party.’
• Madonna spends 10k a month on water.
I spent twenty five minutes in the greeting card aisle of CVS last night. I literally picked up and restocked every single card in the entire store before leaving in a frustrated huff with a card that was far from appropriate for the situation at hand.
It is not that the folks over at CVS don’t have a wide enough selection of cards – they have like 10,000! – it is just that there are some occasions that just don’t quite fit into the limited card categories that exist. Sometimes people may want to buy a card for something a little more specific than a generic birthday/thanks/anniversary/holiday/sympathy/etc/ card.
You know; like when you want to thank your guy for respecting you. Or a good friend for being there when you need her most. Or for a situation when you just can’t seem to find the right words. Read More »
Do your boobs hang low? Do they wobble to and fro?
Thanks to a little piece of wire, some lace straps, and cups (not the porcelain kind) this hasn’t been an issue for a century now.
Happy 100th birthday bra!
Vogue first wrote about bras in 1907, when they were simply around for function and comfort. Nowadays, even members of the itty-bitty-t*tty committee get pleasure out of bra shopping, so much so that it’s become an important part of everyday fashion.
You know what I mean, like when you’re feeling sneaky, sultry, and seductive in an oversized hoodie because shhh, you’ve got your ‘unstrap me or else’ black lace bust booster on underneath. Hellooo, why do you think they call it Victoria’s Secret???
The clever contraption’s birthday comes at the perfect time, with the ever-so-popular Victoria’s Secret fashion show on tonight. (Airs on CBS at 10!)
In a college culture where any silly event is morphed into a full-on blowout boozin’ binge bash, I think I’ve already heard of four different VS viewings tonight, each with a lingerie dress code and lots and lots of champagne.
What better reason to break out the bubbly than a b-day for brassieres?
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