Dear Tuffy Luv,

I’m almost 21 and have never had a boyfriend! I went to an all-girls high school and never socialized with guys. My circle of friends consisted of girls and this carried on as I entered university.

It’s not that I’ve never been approached before. I just think I have never met a guy I’ve genuinely been interested in. Of course there have been the occasional crushes, but those never went beyond physical appearances. I think I have high standards and easily pin point flaws in guys that immediately turn me off from the idea of being with them (eg: they lack manners or smoke), but it’s because I’m not interested in anything casual. If I am going to commit to a relationship, I have to be convinced we can make it last. Is it too much to ask for a guy who is kind and makes me laugh? (And who accepts me and my quirks?)

I don’t think I lack confidence and I don’t think I’m hideous looking. I think my problem is I don’t know how to act and talk to guys. I can be myself, but sometimes I can be blunt and lack empathy. My friends find my deadpan humor funny, but I think others don’t get it and it turns them away. To give you a better idea, I believe I may have Asperger’s Syndrome. I haven’t been diagnosed, but when I read about it, I can relate to, 95% of the signs and symptoms! I find whenever I talk to guys and people I don’t know very well, I have a difficult time holding my end of the conversation. I either don’t know how to engage the person or don’t know the appropriateness of the topics I can share. Read More »

Dear Tuffy Luv,

My best frenemy is getting married. Ok, fine. I was happy for her. The problem is she asked me to make a speech. Tuffy, this girl is not someone I can say something nice about. We have a lot of the same friends so I can’t back out of giving the speech, but we have had a lot of problems in the past.

She dated my ex boyfriend after I broke up with him even though I told her I wasn’t ok with it. She caused a lot of drama with our mutual friends in the past. I dont want to even go in to it here, but trust me this girl is not nice.

But we have a lot of the same friends. And we have been friends since the beginning of high school.

Tuffy, I honestly do not have any thing nice to say. What should I do?

Frenemy Read More »

Aww, friends. They’re great. So great, in fact, that there are tons of super cheesy quotes floating around about them on the internet. I have to admit though, I was laughing when I first started making this gallery, but by the end I was tearing up just a little. I guess friends really are as great as the internet says.

Check out our favorite warm and fuzzy friendship quotes. Read More »

Dear Tuffy Luv,

My boyfriend of three years just had a falling out with one of his closest friends. I don’t want to go into it here, but it was over something really stupid, neither of them will apologize and now they’re not speaking.

I want to help him mend it, but it seems like it’s just making us fight. I’ve tried talking about it with him and he says he doesn’t want to talk about it. I even tried getting them together at a party, but they wouldn’t speak to each other and my boyfriend just got upset and asked me not to do that again. He says he doesn’t want to be friends with this guy anymore, but I know it’s hurting him. Read More »

Hi Dude,

I could use a little guy advice!

So I’m friends with a great group of guys, and we hang out all the time. I’ve never thought of most of them as anything more than friends, but there is one that I’ve started to have a crush on. He’s more of a friend of the guys than a close friend of mine, but we know each other and have hung out a few times. I don’t want to get friend zoned by him accidentally though. There are a ton of girls out there who are sexy or gorgeous and I don’t think I’m one of those. My friends call me cute or pretty. I’m a little self conscious of my noticeable chest (32DD), and sometimes I get a little shy around guys I like (such as this guy) or I feel it’s just easier to not cross that line because I don’t want to screw anything up. As I read in your blogs, I know I keep things pretty close to the chest since I have a fear of rejection. I’m really comfortable with this group of guy friends, but I just don’t want to screw up the dynamic of my friends if I make a move on this guy. I don’t even know how I’d approach this situation in the first place.

Your thoughts,

One of the Bros? Read More »

When the grey clouds start becoming a regular appearance in my weather pattern, I always find it harder to get out of bed, harder to smile and harder to step away from the pint of ice cream and brownie sundae waiting in my freezer. It’s days like these when not even Starbucks can cheer me up. So, because I always think ahead, I bought a day-by-day calendar all about being assertive and basically saying “No, thank you” more (but without the ‘thank you’ part).

And by “assertive,” I mean it’s filled with hysterical quotes about how it’s okay to be super-bitchy, because we all have those day/moments/weeks/lifetimes…when we need to insert an extra NO! into one thing or another. Or because we just need an excuse to make fun of the people still wearing leggings as pants.

So to help you out of this grey funk we all are stuck in, here is a weekly dose of the daily bitch. If this can’t encourage you to get out of bed and  go make fun of someone…I’m not sure what will… Read More »

Dear Tuffy Luv,

I hate my friends. What do I do?

Miserable in College

Dear Miserable,

Grow the floop up.

Okay, no, I mean the thing is, you didn’t give me enough information to give you a really personal answer. Which is totally why I chose your question. Because Tuffy likes it broad. Yeah, baby. Okay, look. Everyone gets annoyed by their friends. That’s super normal, so don’t get excited. I surmise from your name, Miserable in College, that you are in college. I’M SMART.

This probably means that you just need to make new friends! No big deal, right? Probably you started college and made friends right away with the most convenient people. Which is totally the right and easiest thing to do. The problem is, sometimes the most convenient people don’t end up being the people we like best. So, Miserable in College, if that’s the case, I suggest you continue to be polite to these shoops and begin to distance yourself. Join a club or make an effort to hang out with new people after class. You’ll meet new people and find friends you actually connect with. Read More »

Enter, the Wingwoman.

Wingwomen are the future.  Whereas most women are hip to the movements of wingmen, wingwomen are the stealth operation of the “game,” and the key to successful mingling between the sexes. And not just for the guy we might be wingin’ for; for ourselves, too!

For all of you skeptics out there, I have here for you, the five reasons that wingwomen rock:

Read More »

Question?! Answer: Ask Tuffy Luv.

Dear Tuffy Luv,
I’m a college sophomore girl and I seem to have a major problem with boys — I am CLUELESS when it comes to them! I just got out of a short relationship (actually my first one) and what it made me realize was I gravitate toward guys who express their interest in me FIRST because I feel unworthy of the guys that I have a crush on (like they’re too good for me or something along that line). Now, I have my eye on a new guy right now, but these questions are mainly for any guy I’m interested in, in the future. But as for this guy, I’ve gotten his number and we’ve talked a few times, one of those times being with my roommate and his roommate, and the talks were all pretty short and “meaningless.” Now first of all, if I just simply want to get to know a guy better, how much is too much as far as texting goes and how much should I go up to his room to talk to him (we’re in the same dorm)? I’m really focused on just getting to know him better before I start to dive into something, if it’s there. BUT when/if I do get to the flirting part, HOW DO I DO THAT? How much is too much?

Sincerely,

Boy-Inept

Dear Boy-Inept,

Honey, I’m gonna be honest with you: I think you’re just chicken. Texting?! OMG. How NOT effective can you be. No! Girl!!! Go to his room once. Ask him if he wants to grab coffee. And THAT’S how it’s done. Confident. Cool. Fun. THAT’S what guys like. And you can so be those things. It’s all about working up the courage. Anyone can do it. So listen up, the rest of youse:

(1) Decide on a day and time you will make your (very casual) move.
(2) An hour before you do it, have a dance party by yourself. Put on your favorite music and dance that shoop out.
(3) A half hour before, get dressed and spray yourself with perfume. No changing.
(4) Five minutes before, look yourself in the eye in a big mirror and say eight times out loud: “I am awesome.”
(5) Go say hi to him and ask him if he wants to grab coffee.

Wow. So easy. You can totally do this.

Because, like, what’s coffee?! Chances are, he wants to hang out with you ANYWAY. But no matter what, it’s a totally tiny commitment. And once you have coffee with him, you’ll know if you’re even interested in trying again. It’s so win-win I could vom.

I’m rooting for you, girl.

Hearts & Skulls,
Tuffy Luv

Dear Tuffy Luv,

I love the advice you give and right now I’m in need of some if you don’t mind.

My boyfriend of 5 months broke up with me about 3 weeks ago after sitting me down and saying that he wasn’t ready to commit and that he felt as if he wanted to be alone. I didn’t agree with the breakup but I told him that I supported his decision. We decided to remain friends despite everything and I’m totally fine with that.

This past weekend, we took a trip with some mutual friends to Miami. It was supposed to be a little romantic getaway for couples when it was planned, but it wasn’t since we broke up beforehand.

Once we were in Miami, he operated as a single guy and damn near ignored me while we were there. Read More »