Lauren Conrad, Go Back To Fashion School

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Everyone in my life knows I love Lauren Conrad. I started using the word “homeboy” because she made it so endearing, attempted her adorable side-braid (and pouted all day when I realized it looked horrible on me) and totally got into the leggings and men’s t-shirt trend because she rocked it so chic-ly through he streets of LA on The Hills.

When she came out with a fashion line, I couldn’t wait to shop the racks, obvi. The cuts were great and the palette made it perfect for serving as the basic staples of my wardrobe (think solid colored t-shirts, comfy tanks and primary colored mini’s to be pared with jackets and patterned tights that were already in my closet).

Sadly, the price tags and my bank account had a huge fallout and after purchasing a select few pieces (one of which I found digging through the sale rack), I just couldn’t add LC to my list of most-worn designers. Read More »

Welcome Back to The Hills [Live-blog]

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Heidi: "What's that smell?" Spencer: "Must be those burritos."

It’s time!

After months of waiting (and trying to avoid anything and everything Speidi-related), The Hills back. Yeah, it’s without Lauren, but she was getting boring anyway. It’s one thing to love her as a person (which I do), but it’s quite another to love watching her on a show (which I slept through).

So bring on Kristin!
Bring back Jusin Bobby’s berets!
Give Stephanie Pratt a cookie!
Give Spencer Pratt a labotomy!

And bring on the drama.

In case you missed it/want to reduce your IQ 100-150 points, Speidi has been doing some sort of live stream leading up to the season premier. Personally, I would rather get a poop facial than support anything those turds do, but someone sent it to me and now I can’t look away.

I. must. look. away.

Anyways, sit tight. Only 20 more minutes until the BIG PREMIER! I’m gonna go cut up an apple for a healthy snack. Wait, who am I kidding? I’m running to the corner for some cookie dough ice cream. I’ll be back!

9:51 PM: Ok, so this ice cream is really good. Not so good: watching the Speidi wedding all over again. She’s wearing my dream dress, that whore.

9:59 PM: What the hell is this Valemont shiz?

10:00 PM: It’s so weird hearing this raspy voice as the new narrator.

10:02: Kristin slapped Lauren? God I hope she smacks someone this season. And I love how they will give her “the benefit of the doubt” and be her friend. Read: “we wanna keep making sick amounts of money by being on this show so we’ll hang out with her.” Read More »

The Hills Revisited: Major Makeovers

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Okay girls, The Hills premiere is almost here! (September 29 at 10 pm, to be exact). I’m totally freaking out! I can barely contain my excitement. Yes, I know it is extremely embarrassing that I’m counting down the hours, but who’s with me?

Tomorrow night we can finally resume our  weekly ritual of guilty pleasures. For me it’ll be nachos, a glass of cheap wine and a drama packed half hour of catty girl fights in gorgeous outfits.

All the hype of Kristen replacing LC had me reminiscing of high school nights when I would crowd around the TV with my girlfriends to watch the Stephen-Colletti-tug-of-war on Laguna Beach. So, I sat down this weekend for a little revisit to the beginnings of this cash cow of a reality show that’s spitting out celebrities at an Octomom rate.

I’m not going to lie, taking this little trip down memory lane had me a bit melancholy, as I revisited the cast when they still used to consume solid food, had hair that didn’t scream bleach bottle, and sported an authentic California tan instead of layers of cakey makeup.

I’m a sucker for the drama of the new Hills season, but I’ll always miss the natural innocence of the girls that charmed us in the beginning.

Read More »

Candy Dish: Wait, That’s Lady Gaga?!

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10 most embarrassing celebrity yearbook photos.

Chris Brown’s got a new job.

Always wonder what it’s like to work the poll?

Prince Harry just got richer hotter.

Makeup remover pads that actually remove makeup!

Lauren Conrad unveils line for Kohl’s.

Candy Dish: Christian Siriano is Still Fierce

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Christian Siriano at Fashion Week. Gorge.

Beware of dressing rooms in Sweden.

Let’s talk about Amber Rose’s style for a moment.

10 weird ways to make some moolah.

Spencer Prick picks another Twitter fight.

Sometimes it pays to be Sarah Palin.

House of Jazmin: Where’s The Dramz?

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I’ll be honest – if I didn’t read CollegeCandy, I never would have known about MTV’s new show, House of Jazmin. I’d like to say it’s because I don’t bother with the dribble on MTV, but the real reason is because I get so engrossed in the drama on MTV shows that I am forced to fast-forward straight through the commercials and miss everything that is comin’ up.

So I watched this new show, AKA MTV’s answer to the loss of Lauren Conrad. MTV’s attempt at another show that might possibly gross as much money for the network as The Hills. MTV’s response to people who complained about how scripted/fake/annoying The Hills is.

And what did we get?
A real girl who is driven and talented and adorable.

And boring! Read More »

House of Jazmin…The Hills 2.0?

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So as I spent another long summer day mourning the loss of LC from my biggest guilty pleasure (yeah, I’m still not over it), a promo for a new MTV show, House of Jazmin, caught my eye. I don’t really get the spelling of her name, but Jaz is young, cute, and bound to have messy, dramatic hookups every week…

It’s no LC, but can Jazmin be the new reality superstar sent to fill the void The Hills has left in my heart?

Maybe we should first establish the fact that no one will ever be able to fill the very chic shoes of Lauren Conrad. As a reality star, she was God. Not too much of a pushover, but not too catty. A serial dater, providing endless opportunities for me to indulge my monogamous self in first date after first date with sexy, California men. And she chose perfect friends, as they gave her loyal friendship for just long enough to have me invested in the relationship… before completely betraying her and shattering both of our hearts.

I think you get the picture; I was basically living an imaginary life as Lauren Conrad’s best friend. (Cry during the Audrina/ LC fight scene with mascara tears…me? Noooo…) Read More »

Candy Dish: What Happened to Cabbage Patch Kids?

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A breastfeeding baby doll? Ew.

What does Lauren Conrad know about modeling?

Tim Tebow. Muscles. Sweat. Droooool.

Oklahoma really likes Angelina Jolie.

Is Penn State really the best party school?

Lay off the spray tan, Channing Tatum.

Cosmo Says the Darndest Things: July Edition

lauren-conrad-cover-deThis month’s Cosmo was full of summer fun ideas and beat-the-heat ideas that sound like they might actually work (except for those “easy” summer time hairstyles. I think I’ll stick to CC’s how-to-video for that).  But July’s issue had it all: A woman with a PHD who analyzes Speidi PDA! Un-cheesy 4th of July looks! Virgins! Lauren Conrad’s cleavage! A new advice column by Chelsea Handler!(!!)

And, of course, some semi-misguided advice…
This month’s “Get Him to Kiss and Makeup” bypassed the easiest ways to get your boyfriend to forgive you (lingerie, dinner, hypnotism) and found four surefire ways to earn redemption for anything short of “cheating on him with his brother in their parents’ bed while his dog watched.” For the most part, decent ideas, but Cosmo always finds a way to work in the darndest things…

Give Him Room

Cosmo Says: Even if you want to talk things out, let your man blow off some steam by going out with the guys. “That’s how guys multitask.”

Kari Says: Alright, I can understand this. Sometimes I just need a little time alone to sulk, scream, or commiserate with the girls, but watch the expiration date on that time apart. Allowing too much time to pass before apologizing and discussing can create tension, allow anger to steep, or at the very least will earn you some bad-mouthing to his friends. Give him some time to calm down, but don’t go to bed still angry. Read More »

Candy Dish: The Coolest Tattoo Ever

golden girls tatIf I ever got a tat, it would be this.

Pete Wentz uses spit to protect his family.

Check out the new iPhone.

Win some free mascara!

Is Lauren Conrad getting another show?

The 20 least feminist friendly TV characters.

OMG. So wrong. So, so wrong.