Ever since I saw the Anchor’s Away episode on ‘Sex And The City,’ I’ve wanted to experience Fleet Week in New York City. Samantha Jones has an uncanny way of making everything sexed-up and glamorous. She didn’t have to work too hard to convince me to fantasize about a man in uniform. Especially those white Navy uniforms. Let’s just pause for a moment to appreciate those.

So how do you make that fantasy a reality? How do you actually snag yourself a Navy Seal for the week? Beyond having a vagina, I’m not sure it’s much work. However, CollegeCandy has put together a little guide in case you’re not convinced.

initiating the gallery...

Get out there and have some fun, girls! And tell us your stories in the comments below!

Are you crushing on a guy but too afraid to make the first move? Something about him makes you a bit shy, and even though you’re dying for him to kiss you, your stomach flips every time you maybe had that moment when you were both maybe (hopefully) thinking about a kiss. Or maybe it’s not that you’re shy, but you want to make sure it’s something he wants beforeyou attack his face? Either way, YourTango has come up with 7 moves that will let him know exactly what you want. If he’s feeling it, too, he won’t hesitate to lean in. Get the 7 secrets here!

Ever wish a real life version of ‘Hitch’ existed? Thomas Edwards, CEO of The Professional Wingman, claims to be just that. He makes a living off of selling packages to individuals aimed to increase their ability to successfully flirt, pursue and date people who catch their eye. He recently spoke at a conference covered by YourTango, and they pulled together 4 simple tips to make yourself irresistible to men. This information is normally reserved for paying clients, but this is your freebie. Get the 4 tips here!

Ever look back on a relationship and say, “God, if only I’d known all this crap a the beginning”? I know I have. I know I still do. I know that I probably will in the future, hopefully not the near future, but I admit the possibility. Hindsight’s the most perfect vision there is. Look, it isn’t always feasible or conceivable to know everything that’s going to clearly point out things will not end well. And not everything you wish you knew right at the beginning is necessarily a deal breaker, but there’re things that are important enough to warrant disclosure. And while, yes, in the linear timeline we are forced to live within a lot of the big stuff does come out eventually, it doesn’t hurt to take stock of what we wish we’d known. Even if only as a way to help you approach the next relationship. These are 11 things you wish he’d been upfront about and thus could have saved you some serious grief! Read More »

[Got a Dude itch you just can’t scratch? Sick of trying to come up with a not-totally-crazy-girl way to bring it up to your guy friends and get their take on things? Totally over over-analyzing the cryptic messages he leave on your Facebook Wall? We got your back, girlfriend. Send your question over to askthedude [at] collegecandy [dot] com. The Dude won’t sugarcoat it, beat around the bush, or any other weird cliche that means lie to you. Like a nice, juicy hot dog, he’ll be 100% real beef, 100% of the time. So bring. it. on.]

Dear Dude,

What do guys really think of sex on the first date? Is it a deal breaker? I feel like if you have a genuine connection with someone, and the sex is awesome, shouldn’t that make them want you more? Or does it completely take the fun out of the chase? I’ve had one long term relationship start out of sex on the first date. I’ve had other guys never call me again. What’s the deal?

Sincerely,

Screwed then screwed!

Dear Screwed then screwed!

Here’s the deal: I’ve never known of a man who found sex to be a deal breaker on the first date. If anything, it’s considered a minor miracle from the Heavens, and for some d-bags out there it’s an expectation, which kind of clarifies why I’m calling them d-bags.

There’s a lot more to the chase than just having sex. Don’t get me wrong, it can certainly enhance the chase. However! There are so many ways to have sex and in so many places, and some could argue getting a taste and then not getting the meal is even more enticing. I think it’s a guy to guy situation.

Do men respect women less if they can get laid on the first date? Maybe some. Is sex all a guy wants? Possibly. It’s certainly one of the things he’s thinking about over tortellini. There are other thoughts, like if his hair’s doing that cow lick thing or if he mentioned his love for animals enough…and your breasts, which doesn’t count as thinking about sex, it’s just something we think about that LEADS us to thinking about sex. Sorry, that clarification had to be made!

Your track record’s a spotty one with having sex on a first date, and if it’ll lead to more or less. My question is, what are you looking for on the first date? Are you having sex because you think he wants it or because you want it? If you’re doing it for you then, “Have at thee!” As Thor would put it. If you’re doing it because you’re trying to ensure a second date, then I would recommend trying to hold off and make it a 2, or the classic 3, date rule. Just don’t pull a Robin Scherbatzky and change your mind mid-date and think you need to shave your legs. The first time, if we’re focusing on what’s on your legs rather than what we’re doing in between them…there’s no picket fence in the future.

Be careful about looking for logic when asking the question “to f*ck or not to f*ck?” These aren’t logical actions, they’re primal. Awesome sex doesn’t mean you have an emotional connection yet. It means you could. It also might mean you just have sexual chemistry, or you were really horny. Generally assuming that if the sex is awesome, then he’d want to come back for seconds is illogical. It’s just not always reality. Remember, you’re looking at it through your eyes, and you can’t be certain how he’s looking at it through his.

The bottom line is this: If you’re not getting the results you want with the way you’ve been going about trying to get them, then it’s time to change things up. Change your policy or change the type of guy you’re going out with. The issue’s at the source either way.

Keep calm, and don’t blink!

The Dude

All men are capable of cheating. Hell, all people are! Let’s not pretend that there aren’t temptations and that there aren’t opportunities. There are times when it’s just a slip and then there are other times when it’s a damn Charlie Chaplin sketch. The question is, how do you know if he’s cheating on you? What are the signs and what are the ways you can decipher them? If you think your man might be cheating on you, here are 11 tells that you should look for a combination of.

One on its own may not be enough to convict, but if several of these apply to your beau…well…more on that in a bit.

initiating the gallery...

Is he cheating? Is there someone else? Do these signs mean what you think they mean? The biggest problem with everything on this list is that if you’re asking these questions, you’re having some trust issues. There could be no girl, and these signs could end up being totally innocent. So why don’t you trust him? That’s the most important question to ask, and it’s one you have to ask the one you’re looking at in the mirror. That aside, how doYOU think you could tell if he’s stepping out on you?

[Lead image via Shutterstock]

Hi Dude,

I’ve been dating this guy for a few months, and we really get along phenomenally. We have a lot in common, including our sense of humor, we love to go on adventures and the sex is fantastic. Marriage came up in conversation the other day, because one of his friends is unhappily married. During the conversation he revealed that he didn’t believe in marriage and would never marry. He said he had too many friends who are unhappily married and constantly complain that the sex is boring, and they wish they could sleep with other people. I’m not saying I want to marry this guy or anyone any time soon, but I do want to get married eventually. Is it worth sticking in this relationship if those are his beliefs? Should I be with someone who thinks they should only be with someone as long as the sex is sizzling? Does he really mean that, or has he just never been in love with someone enough to realize that there are many other reasons to stay in a relationship beyond the honeymoon phase?

Thanks,

Not Yet A Bride

Dear Not Yet A Bride,

Ouch! I mean, OUCH! You’re in a swamp filled with sh*t on this one. Sorry to be explicit but damn, girl, this is not the easiest terrain to wade through, and you’re right in the thick of it…Please disregard all nature-based metaphors used in the prior sentences, I’m in the middle of reading Swamp Thing #8. Multitasking!-it’s what makes us adults, seriously.

I’ve had this conversation myself at one point with a certain lady-friend of mine, so I’m talking from experience rather than just out of my ass on this one. Lots of couples last long-term despite differences over a lot of things: Who’s the best Bond, best Doctor, whose family is crazier, why she never takes out the f*cking garbage, is the cat cuter than both of you combined (yes, she is), but there’s one difference that usually sinks a relationship at the end of the day: Marriage.

Some people are ready now, some aren’t, some say they could be, and some claim they never will be, and are any of these statements 100% concrete? No. He could want to in 5 years or maybe it’ll take 10 years. There are plenty of marriage horror stories that we all hear about. Ever notice how you generally only hear about the bad parts of a marriage? Or stories at least about bad marriages and not so often about good ones? Way of gossip, I guess. Those horror stories are enough to give the most grounded person pause these days, so it’s not surprising that right now he can’t envision himself married. Those are issues he’ll have to work on, and either you can put some faith into him being able to do the work, or you can walk away when you decide you’re ready for the next step, and he’s not.

There’s no definite way to know if you’re completely wasting your time by staying with this guy for much longer. A lot of us change our minds with maturity and experience of a healthy long-term relationship. It does take time, and it takes a bit of work on our parts, but it does happen. The reverse happens to. The question, really, is how long are you prepared to wait?

It could take a year, five years, or even ten years before he gets comfortable with the idea of getting married and that’s thinking he actually will. You have to make the decision for yourself when enough’s enough. If, should you become ready, he can’t or won’t get ready, that’s the point when you consider using those walking boots. Until then, keep the lines of communication open, and see how it plays out. Sounds like you two have a real nice thing going. Don’t leap five moves ahead before you see what the next move is first.

To touch on your other point: you should only stay with someone who believes a relationship is working while the sex is sizzling if all you want is sizzling sex. Otherwise, that’s A. not realistic thinking and B. not mature thinking. Take that belief for what it’s worth: not much.

Runaway groom,

The Dude

[Got a Dude itch you just can’t scratch? Sick of trying to come up with a not-totally-crazy-girl way to bring it up to your guy friends and get their take on things? Totally over over-analyzing the cryptic messages he leave on your Facebook Wall? We got your back, girlfriend. Send your question over to askthedude [at] collegecandy [dot] com. The Dude won’t sugarcoat it, beat around the bush, or any other weird cliche that means lie to you. Like a nice, juicy hot dog, he’ll be 100% real beef, 100% of the time. So bring. it. on.]

I think I am all maxed out on dating advice. I hear it from my parents, my siblings, my single friends, my not-so-single friends, the Internet, Patti Stanger, etc. The list goes on and on. After awhile, hearing “It happens when you least expect it!!!! Don’t give up hope!” gets a little on the repetitive side. I am sure that is true, but sometimes a single and bitter girl just wants to be single and bitter. Although, I know that everyone (myself included) thinks they are a relationship guru when in a relationship.

Throughout my life, I don’t know if I have ever heard anything that strays from the “norm” when it comes to dating advice and how to pick a partner. It really didn’t matter if the (usually unsolicited) advice came from my older sister or my best friend, they all pretty much said the same thing. The tips and words of wisdom that I learned when I was 16 still hold true now that I am 23.  It comes down to love, respect, and trust. Right? Once you get down the nitty-gritty of the relationship, good looks and all the superficial stuff kind of goes out the window. Read More »

10 tempting reasons to think he’s the one even if he’s not

10 tips to help you get over a break up

Single celebs we’d cast as the new bachelor

Your period could be a time for deep lady bonding

Dating advice from Taylor Kitsch

Yes, shapewear can be sexy!

5 simple ways to get your man to understand you

What women want according to twitter

In love? Take this quiz!

Kristen Stewart almost looks like she has an expression on this month’s cover of Glamour. I don’t know how to feel about this. Sullen works for her, but I can’t begrudge her any attempts to look happy or engaged.

This month’s issue is pretty inoffensive. There was a strong emphasis on health, which I appreciate. And I was reminded that Mercury retrograde falls over Thanksgiving this year, so I’m already mentally preparing for a hot mess holiday of ridiculous proportions. Even the relationship section was less horrific than usual. There was an articled on “How to be a Man-Magnet” that had some good pieces of advice (don’t insult other women, be proud of your ambitions, don’t expect every guy to be marriage material…), though some gems were a little less constructive. Read More »