It’s been a long night. The only thing on your mind is throwing the 12 decorative pillows (that your mom insisted you buy) off your big comfy bed and burying yourself under that warm, fluffy blanket.

You fight to keep your eyes open as you take the elevator up to your room. As you round the corner and get closer to your room you grow more excited to kick off your shoes, peel those skinny jeans off your legs (you swear they weren’t this tight when you bought them…) and take a one way ticket to Snoozetown.

And then you see it. Scribbled on the dry erase board tacked to your door: come back later.

The writing is messy, but the message is loud and clear. Your roommate’s got a boy in there and you are not welcome.

Angry, you stand there for a few moments taking it all in. It’s late on a weeknight. Everyone else is already asleep. And how long have they been in there?  Where the hell are you supposed to go? When can you come back?

You scan the hallway. Yup, everyone’s doors are closed and the hall is quiet. You are going to have to find somewhere else to pass the time. You take the elevator back down to the study room on your dorm’s main floor. You’re exhausted, but you decide you’ll do a bit more reading and try the room again in a half hour.

When you walk in you find another student in there reading on a couch. Read More »

The Jonas Brothers are NOT breaking up, OK?

Fight the flu naturally!

What exactly is going on here?

Is Josh Duhamel a cheater??

Miley’s got some freaky-ass fans.

What makes a man bad in bed?

We all know the movies don’t necessarily contain the most accurate depictions of actual life. Or do we?

Whether we realize it or not, we all pick up subtle things from movies that we expect to find in our actual lives. And while I’m willing to overlook some of the media’s follies (like the fact that people in any foreign country all speak English), some of their depictions of sex are just. so. wrong.

Sex requires a soundtrack.
Sure, some people like to have sex to music and watching couples do it to some big, romantic song in the movies makes us all think music will enhance our orgasms, too. But how many times have you set your iTunes to random and had the Spongebob theme song come on in the middle of your session? Awkward! Sometimes it’s best to leave the music off while you’re getting frisky (unless you’re trying to drown out the noise so your roommates don’t hear). It will still be just as good.

Couples always finish together.
Not only do women orgasm every time they have sex in movies, but they always do it at the exact same time as their partner. Anyone who’s ever had sex in the real world knows this couldn’t be further from the truth for most sexual encounters.

Women never walk around naked after sex.
I don’t know about you girls, but I have never, ever ripped a sheet off of a bed to cover myself when I need to walk around the morning after sex. Nor do I immediately dress myself in my boyfriend’s oversized, button-up shirt. Read More »

Hey! We can hear you!

You just spent 7 hours hunched over a laptop churning out a 12-page midterm paper. Your eyes are dry, your butt is aching from those wooden slabs they call chairs at your school, and the only thing you have on your schedule for this Thursday evening is catching up on some How I Met Your Mother on your DVR and a large bowl of Pad Thai. You slip into some sweats and curl up under a fleece blanket on the couch with a roommate and let the night of nothingness begin.

Two hours and a package of Soft N’ Chewy cookies later, your other roommate stumbles home with her boyfriend. They plop down on the couch next to you and start telling you about their night. Somewhere between their first beer and the tale of how her pizza fell on the ground, they start getting a little handsy. Soon, he’s running his hands through her hair and nibbling on her ear.

You roll your eyes at the other roommate and pray they’ll head back to her room soon so you can get back to Barney’s antics.

Finally, once Mr. Boyfriend’s hands start moving up your roommate’s skirt, she stands up and drags him to her room. When the door slams behind them, you breathe a sigh of relief that they are finally going to pass out, fire up the DVR and resume your regularly scheduled evening.

All is going well until you start fast-forwarding through some commercials. In the silence you hear laughter coming from the bedroom. It stops for a moment and then the Kings of Leon start flooding out from under the door. You brace yourself for what is sure to come next and turn the show back on, hoping it will drown out the sounds. But it only gets worse.

First it’s a moan.
Then some thumping.
More moaning. Read More »

Sophomore year I had gone through a bad breakup, things weren’t going so well with my roommate and my grades were plummeting. Long days running my frustration out at the gym and longer nights of drowning my sorrows in alcohol were really wearing down my system. I knew a breakdown was looming, but there was no predicting when or where it was going to happen.

Which was quite unfortunate for me.

I began to hang out with a freshman that I had known from my hometown. He was a good friend and I felt really comfortable with him. One weekend night, we had gone out to a party together and gone back to my dorm room after. My roommate was asleep in her bed and things between us were less than stellar, so me and the boy had to find another place suitable for… Well, you know. Read More »

Most of us have engaged in the verbal debate at some point. Most likely over a game of beer pong, when a guy makes that common assumption that boys are simply tougher than girls. We then launch into defense mode, listing off reasons why women are a hundred times tougher than men. It always ends in the same statement: “well men don’t have to go through labor!”

End of fight. (Hopefully you sink your next throw to send the point home).

An Australian TV anchor wanted to end this feud once and for all so he agreed to be put into simulated labor (with a machine that sends electric currents through the abdomen which feel like contraction pains). Needless to say, after only three hours he called it quits (mind you, most women are in labor for an average of 10-12 hours), concluding, “Women win. Men don’t.”

Finally, we are getting the credit we deserve. But honestly, we knew he never stood a chance. Of course men can’t handle labor! They can’t handle most of the things women put up with on a daily or monthly basis. Men could never handle being women, period. Read More »

Every month Cosmopolitan challenges me with article titles such as: “Sex Positions You’ve Never Tried!” Not believing them, combined with my love of a challenge, I took a gander at the list of positions they’d laid out for me. I’d been looking for a little more adventure in my life and I’ve always been all about trying everything once.

Until now.

Based on the names alone, I had no problem saying, “You’re right, Cosmo, I never have tried the Erotic Accordion… and I never want to.” Yes, I actually spoke out loud to my monthly magazine.

Here are a list of some Cosmo-recommended sex positions that sound less than pleasurable. Try them if you dare. I will not: Read More »

[It's pretty obvious that the average CollegeCandy reader has some very strong opinions. Opinions that she likes to share with everyone on the site. We love a strong woman, so we thought we'd give her a real forum to discuss her thoughts, feelings, and perspectives. Every Friday I'll be featuring a hot topic (like inter-cultural dating!) and leaving it up to you, the readers, to duke it out. So, read it and get your debate on in the comments section below!]

With Halloween on the way, thing are getting sexed up, so it only seems right that we get down to discussing the bare minimum of sexy coverings – lingerie.

On one side, practically every woman I know owns at least a couple of sets of racy underpinnings, and there’s a good reason for it. Completely aside from the obvious “look sexy for sex” aspect of lingerie (let’s face it, if clothes are coming off, guys care less about the undies than what’s under them) there’s a certain mental boost that comes from wearing pretty things – even if no one else gets to see them. Like putting on a great set of heels, the right underwear can change your mood, maybe even make you want to be ballsier/flirtier/whateverer and pump up your game. And in turn, that feeling can lead to all sorts of good things, including sex.

Another bonus on the lingerie side is that brands like Victoria’s Secret and websites like figleaves have brought sexy (and wearable) lingerie into reasonable prices, so now we can all afford to have a little more “badda-bing” in our lives.  And yeah, the average guy probably couldn’t tell La Perla from Fruit of the Loom, but pretty underthings are still probably going to get his heart pounding better than the rose-printed cotton ones your grandma bought you in high school. When you look sexy, you feel sexy, and do any of us really wake up in the morning and say “I just wish I weren’t so damn sexy!” (well, maybe on a good day). Read More »

My roommate has recently become obsessed with the new Weezer song and she’s constantly shouting, “Girl, If you’re wondering if I want you to, I want you to,
 so make a move, (Make a move) ‘cos I ain’t got all night.”

This has led me to some contemplation on how hard it actually is to make a move on someone, and how annoying and awkward it can be while you’re waiting for them to make a move on you.

We’ve all been in way too many situations where we’ve been talking to a cute boy all night, but the party’s dying down and we can’t tell if he’s gonna pack up his things and head home (alone), or pucker up his lips and go in for the kiss (or, you know, put his hand on our butt…something!). And you know he’s feeling just as anxious, because he can’t tell if he should risk making the move too soon and scaring you off.

So you just sorta stand there…talking about cheese.

Of course, as Weezer exemplifies, this situation can easily be reversed. And I’m all for that. It’s time to stomp out the awkwardness of making/waiting for a move. It’s time to take matters into our own hands, and to take those matters with confidence and ease.

How can you let him/her know you’re ready? Read More »

Question for La Tuff?! Email her at TuffyLuv@collegecandy.com and get that it answered proper!

Dear Tuffy Luv,

My boyfriend wants to have sex all the time. At first I was OK with it but now I just want to hang out sometimes. We still go on dates but its like he needs to have sex every single day. I’m stressed out! This is a busy semester for me – sometimes I just don’t feel like it! How can I tell him without hurting his feelings?

Thanks Tuffy!

Tired

Dear Tired,

Repeat after me: Get your goddamn hands off of me.

Okay, sorry kids. Aunt Tuffy is having a busy couple of weeks herself so the idea of some dude forcing his overactive weewee on someone who is too tired to do it right now, goddammit–well, it makes Aunt Tuffy a little tired herself.

But, back to you.

In any case, Tired, I’m sure he’s not doing it on purpose. The fact that he still wants to go on dates and everything is reassuring. If, like, he just wanted to have sex and DIDN’T want to do the whole dating this anymore, well, then I’d say the guy is cheating or just biding his time. But that doesn’t sound like the case here. Read More »