Studying on the beach? HELL NO.

WOAH. Stop right there. Hooooold up. Wait a minute. Don’t go there cuz I ain’t wit’ it.

I can’t believe my ears.

I just heard the worst idea in the history of idea-making and I swear I am not overreacting.

A US Senator, Lamar Alexander (yes, please send him nasty letters and kick him on the street), stated in a recent Newsweek Article that “an educational schedule of 3 months of summer is not relevant in today’s world and [college] students should take more credit hours and graduate in 3 years, saving 25% in tuition costs.”

I have so many problems with this one sentence I don’t even know where to begin.

I guess I should start with deep breathing into a brown paper bag. And eating a brownie.

Ok, now that I’m somewhat composed let’s start with Mr. Alexander’s cost argument. It’s an obvious fact that our parents, our own bank accounts, and out future selves for the next 15 years, are being raped of any and all money we make or will make to pay for college. But in the grand scheme of things, how much less of a burden is it to pay $120,000 versus $160,000?

Either way, the financial aspect of college has all of us students spurting premature wrinkles, and I’d rather spend one more year of my life tailgating, eating diner food at 4 am, and partying the night away before I have to face the fat, red negative number in my bank account. Read More »

Unlike many of my friends, I didn’t spend my summer working my butt off at some incredible internship, or traveling around the globe checking out exotic places. I put my seven years of competitive swimming to use and decided to teach people how to swim at a nearby university. Not only did I get to enjoy the gorgeous Miami weather on a daily basis (when we weren’t having torrential downpours) and get to look at the even more gorgeous guys, I learned some very interesting things.

For example, even the cutest little girl’s vomit will be vile when you are covered with it. And, even though the adorable boy you teach can’t be more than 40 pounds, his “accidental” kicks to your lady parts will make you see stars. Every. single. time.

Since I don’t plan on teaching swimming or working with kids in the future, I didn’t anticipate learning anything super important through this job. I figured I’d be in the sun, make some money, and get really pruney fingers now and then. But while I was teaching these little kids how to stay afloat in a large body of water, they were teaching me a much bigger lesson. Read More »

I love boys. I love boys so tall they might hit their heads when they walk through a doorway and boys so short they’ve probably never entertained fantasies of basketball stardom. I love boys as dark as the blackest coffee, as white as the snow that I am not looking forward to this winter, and every shade in between. Give me a boy, any boy, and I’ll find something I love about him.

This is why even I wondered if I was slightly insane when I decided to completely abstain from boys this summer.

The decision (The Vow, as I now refer to it) was something I really had to think about. I knew that going home to Miami would mean I’d have options for a summer fling. Beautiful, jacked, sun-god-like options that seem to only exist in dreams. But, having been single for over three years, I needed a break.

I think that relationships, as amazing as they can be, sometimes just aren’t worth it. I’m incredibly busy, as are most college students, so I only want to make time in my life for someone if we have something I can’t imagine giving up. But while being single right now is best for me, it can be so exhausting. From wondering if the attractive guy digs me back to whether or not to be physical with a guy I may not have emotional connections with, I was just sick of it. So, to the surprise of my friends, I decided that for summer, I’d basically be like one of the nuns that taught me in grade school. Except I’d still curse and wear bikinis and stuff.

When people would ask my why I was doing this, I usually said something new-agey like “I just need some time to really be alone. I need to focus on myself.” And focus on myself I did. I took a mini road trip with one of my best friends to an amazing art exhibit. I re-read one of my favorite books that I haven’t read since junior year of high school. I started doing Pilates, which completely rejuvenated and calmed me. I surrounded myself with the carefree joy of children, and picked some of their confidence along the way. Read More »

Class all year? FML.

[It's pretty obvious that the average CollegeCandy reader has some very strong opinions. Opinions that she likes to share with everyone on the site. We love a strong woman, so we thought we'd give her a real forum to discuss her thoughts, feelings, and perspectives. Every Friday I'll be featuring a hot topic (like what is cheating!) and leaving it up to you, the readers, to duke it out. So, read it and get your debate on in the comments section below!]

There’s been some debate recently about increasing the number of days public school kids have to spend in class, and while you may be thinking “man, I’m glad I’m not in high school anymore,” think again. Colleges, especially public ones, generally follow the patterns set up by lower levels of schooling, which means that if they cut back on summer, you could kiss it goodbye too.

I’ll give you a moment to go find a paper bag to breathe into.

Proponents of adding school days to the calendar – including President Obama and the Education Secretary – note that American kids go to school fewer days than other countries, the same countries that tend to do better in math and science than we do. And, they claim, adding days has proven effective in some places in the U.S.  Loathe though I am to say it, they do have a point. Test scores do rise in schools that have longer school days and years. Read More »

While flipping through the channels last night during primetime, I discovered the real reason why our favorite shows go off the air during the summer: to make way for the sh*tshow that is summer television, which leaves us begging for The Office and House come September.

It’s the perfect advertising strategy: cut off the supply of good shows, and the viewers will demand that the season premiere of Grey’s Anatomy be moved up several weeks. But it’s absolute torture for the rest of us.

That is not to say all summer TV is bad. True Blood and Mad Men are perhaps two of the greatest shows on television, period, despite the fact that they premiere during the summer. But take a look the other night’s TV listings, and you’ll want to cringe along with me: America’s Got Talent, Big Brother, More To Love? Nothing even halfway decent to watch! Read More »

While I’m enjoying summer’s warm weather, there is one thing I’m really excited about for fall: cozy, oversized sweaters. I know, I shouldn’t wish away the summer months, but seeing all those fall clothes out on the racks is getting me super pumped for sipping a hot coffee in my fall wardrobe on the way to class.

Sigh.

Luckily, I don’t have to spend all my money on a new wardrobe to enjoy the latest fall trends; I have a few leftover sweaters from last winter that will work perfectly for this one. Here are a few ideas of how to rock those old looks and turn them into hot, chic new ones. Read More »

After spending all of spring semester counting down the days until summer break started, I’m now faced with the end of summer and even more school.  Where did the time go?  What was I doing when the sun was shining and the waves were crashing?  Oh yeah, I was probably online.  Hazard of the job, I suppose (and of being a college student).

However, I decided that I would not let the rest of the summer go to waste.  I’m going to take stock of all the things I was excited about before the summer began and make sure I do them before I go back to my dungeon dorm room.

Eat A Lot of Free Food – My mom loves to cook for me whenever I’m home.  I don’t have to say anything more than, “I think I’m coming up to visit on Saturday” and she’ll have already bought the ingredients for my favorite meals.  Things like eggs benedict, home-made macaroni and cheese (with six kinds of cheese!! mmm), cherry roasted baby-back ribs and so much more are thrown at me (not literally, although I fully support food fights) from the moment I step out of my car.  Plus, a plate of brownies or cookies that seem to fall into my hands at random times.  Yes, I’ll leave fit to burst and probably need a couple days to sleep off the food coma, but it’s so worth it.  Just thinking about a whole semester of dorm food and ramen noodles makes me wanna go home right now… Read More »

We hate to be bearers of bad news, but it’s August — meaning the glory days of sippin’ summer cocktails and rapidly developing skin cancer at any locale offering a mid- to large-sized body of water are, unfortunately, coming to an end. We know it’s hard to snap out of the beach-bum mindset, which is why we’ve got you covered with a checklist of things to do before full-time academia is back in swing.

Beautify. Nothing like cruising into a new semester of classes feeling like hot sh*t. Book your appointments early for those caterpillar eyebrows, exposed roots, and crusty feet.

Prepare for potential hanky-panky. (Yep, I did just call it hanky-panky.) Visit to the gyno? Check. Birth control stockpile? Check. Brazilian wax? Check. Stop trying to salvage period-stained panties — as my motto goes, new school year, new lacy underthings.

Buy new dorm / apartment / house décor! Draw some inspiration from Apartment Therapy and go to town. May we suggest wall decals, some choice picture frames and scented candles?

Pick up a new planner. Steal one from freshman orientation if you have to, and then neatly pencil in important dates (your boyfriend’s grandmother’s birthday, any club meeting with free food, the three-year anniversary to the day you got your v-card swiped, etc.) There’s nothing quite like touching a spankin’ new notebook — devoid of uncompleted to-do lists — for the very first time. Read More »

Ugh...

This summer is my last summer at home. While most of you can relate when I say that I’m ecstatic (believe me, I am), it may not be for the reason everyone expects. Read: living with the parents breathing down my neck.

You see, when I go home, I gain weight. Not just 3 or 4 pounds, but this summer I put on 10. freakin. pounds. Yes, I know this is my own fault, so don’t get on my case for knowing better, but I know I’m not alone. There is something about the summer that just means extra poundage. So how about we take a closer look at what goes on during the summer months so we can stop the madness?!?!

1) The campus gym is no longer 5 min away - Ok, this one hit me pretty hard. I love having a free gym at my disposal! No way am I going to pay buckets of money to use an elliptical in my hometown.

2) When it’s fifty million degrees outside, you want to stay in – I’m one of those people that no matter how far away my class is, I’d rather walk than take the campus shuttle. Well, with no class to go to, I have nowhere to walk. Also, I live in west Texas where it’s been over 100 degrees every day for the past month. Going on a walk for exercise is out of the question; I don’t want to burst into flames! Read More »

I’ll admit in all shallowness, one thing excites me more than anything about the summer time: busting out short skirts! But there’s one problem.

While slipping on a slinky mini dress the other night, I looked down at my legs in horror. Walking around in bermudas all day had given me a beautiful golden tan…from the knee down. Nothing is more annoying than those pesky little tan lines that seem to cue strangers onto the shape of the shirt you wore the day before. Luckily they can be done away with (tanning bed free…because damaged skin is never, ever sexy).

Your first option is to pick up some sunless tanner and fill in the blanks. Pick a shade that matches the depth of your tan, not what your normal skin tone would be. Exfoliate that skin well to avoid streaking, and apply! If you want to get perfect color, and if you have a little more patience, a gradual tanning lotion might be a better bet. It’ll take several days to build the color, but you’ll be better able to get the exact shade of tan you want. Read More »